After Your Children Watch the Film

TIPS FOR PARENTS

GETTING STARTED

How to use the films and guide in your family

After Your Children Watch the Film

Follow your children’s lead

It’s normal to want to know what your children are thinking and feeling, but don’t expect them to talk right away. Resist the urge to dig too deep, too soon. Some kids may need time to think about the film; others may need to watch it more than once.

Talk about the kids in the film

Talking about divorce can feel awkward. Kids often talk more freely when the focus isn’t on them. Instead of talking about their own experience, your children may feel more comfortable making comments about the kids in the film.

Pay attention to which kids they relate to most in the film … this may help you understand what your children are feeling but not talking about.

Don’t rush the conversation

If your kids don’t want to talk, let them be. Tell them that when they are ready to talk, you’ll be there to listen.

Sometimes the best talks happen when kids don’t feel put on the spot, like when you’re driving in the car, cooking dinner together, walking the dog, or tucking them in at night.

Do more listening than talking

Kids have a lot to say when they feel they are being heard. One of the most valuable things you can do for your children is let them know you are really hearing what they are telling you ... even if it pushes a few buttons!

Parenting tip

Allow Kids their own feelings

There are always a few surprises when people open up about their feelings, and this can be particularly true with kids. Keep in mind that your children may not have the same feelings about the divorce or the same reactions to the film as you. Give your kids the space to speak freely about their feelings and what comes up for them after the film.

Be careful not to gloss over what they share, correct them or put words in their mouths.